How Do I Break A Negative Cycle?
The following blow is an edited manuscript of a Sunday Teaching by pastor Kyle Davies in a series titled Benefites Package.
As a church community, we firmly believe in expanding God’s family and embracing the goodness it offers. However, we acknowledge that the term “family” can elicit mixed emotions, especially on days like Mother’s Day. Some of us may have strained relationships with our mothers, while others deeply miss their late mothers. Regardless of our circumstances, we recognize that you are seen, loved, and the reason our church exists is to fill the gaps, serving as father or mother figures to those who lacked such roles.
One of the significant challenges we face is helping our youth transition well into adulthood, as they often grapple with anxiety about the future, their upbringing, and the uncertainties of life. However, the beautiful thing about God’s work in our lives is that He can transform strangers into friends and ultimately, family. Together, we can grieve the losses and missed opportunities from our pasts, but we can also push forward, modeling and building the supportive relationships we all crave for the next generation.
The book of Hebrews addresses weighty themes like discipline, suffering, and endurance, which can resonate deeply with our personal stories. Some of us may have had the privilege of working through childhood trauma with a therapist or a compassionate pastor, discovering God’s promises and learning to live them out. Yet, even with the best intentions, our human imperfections can inflict hurt and pain on others, making the journey towards healing a challenging one.
In this morning’s passage, we are reminded that the ultimate benefit is knowing that there is a Heavenly Father who loves us, provides for us, and assures us that we are not alone. Our stories matter, and we can be made new within His family, changing the trajectory of our lives and those around us. However, this path is not without its difficulties, as any time we put ourselves out there, we risk being hurt or rejected, even by those we love and want the best for.
The book of Hebrews encourages us to take the long view, reminding us that faith looks at the past and sees God’s invisible hand directing the course of history. It looks at the present and recognizes the impermanence of visible things, knowing that they are not as they will someday be. And faith looks to the future, longing for the fulfillment of everything God has promised. This perspective helps us endure the challenges of living a life of faith.
Like the “cloud of witnesses” described in Hebrews 12, the stories of Old Testament characters serve as co-passengers on our journey, having arrived at the destination before us. They clung to God’s promises over the long haul, and now they encourage us, not as disapproving figures but as fellow travelers cheering us on, reminding us that it is worth it and that we are not alone.
To run this race effectively, we must “throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles” (Hebrews 12:1). The sin referred to here is not necessarily outward disobedience but rather the sin of unbelief – allowing things to hinder our belief in God’s promises and enticing us to believe lesser things. We must relinquish the barriers that sabotage our faith in the love, cleansing, and new purpose offered by God.
The writer of Hebrews exhorts us to “run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus” (Hebrews 12:1-2). Like a long-distance runner, persevering in the Christian life requires sustained effort and discipline. While the running imagery may not resonate with everyone, any long-term pursuit, whether a road trip or building something lasting, demands consistent dedication.
Crucially, we must maintain a healthy view of Christ and a good relationship with Him, for He endured suffering and the cross, knowing the joy that awaited Him. While earthly successes and joys can be fleeting, we need something eternal to keep us going – the same joy that sustained Jesus through His suffering.
Building joy is essential for enduring difficulties. Gratitude is the first step, as expressing thankfulness fills our joy tanks. We need to intentionally share our gratitude with our spouses, children, friends, coworkers, and leaders, being specific about what we appreciate. Even when faced with disappointments or less-than-ideal circumstances, a strong foundation of joy can prevent us from being debilitated.
Additionally, joy is generated through eye contact and face-to-face interactions. As a church, we strive to create opportunities for us to look each other in the eye, affirming that we see and value one another. This simple act of connection aids in building joy and a sense of belonging.
The passage also addresses the concept of discipline, which is not always associated with negative connotations. Discipline can be viewed as training, where we help each other grow and develop in our faith. Just as an athlete trains for a championship or an employee hones their craft for success, we must discipline one another in love, sharing our excitement for God’s Word, praying together, and spurring each other on in our spiritual journeys.
Discipline, though painful in the moment, ultimately yields “the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:11). Like LeBron James, who acknowledged missing birthdays and holidays in his pursuit of basketball excellence, there is a cost to chasing godliness. However, the discipline required results in a true internal satisfaction that comes from journeying with God and others for the sake of someone else.
As we repattern harmful habits and break cycles of brokenness or dysfunction, we do so not out of a sense of obligation but because we are loved by God, who finds joy in us. Our obedience, empowered by Christ’s sacrifice, confirms us in holy living, enabling us to share in His holiness and persevere in obedience.
This week, consider picking one habit to repattern – perhaps expressing gratitude daily, purposeful prayer with a loved one, or replacing a coping mechanism with clinging to the hope found in Christ. Interrupt the cycle, practice discipline, and experience the freedom that comes from enduring discipline within God’s family.
Remember, God sees you, loves you, and His face shines upon you. Together, as we journey through the challenges of life, we can find joy, peace, and righteousness, secure in the knowledge that we are not alone but part of an eternal family.