Are We Raising Our Children With a Spirit of Fear or Power?
The following post is a summary of a manuscript from a Sunday Teaching at Generations Church on Sunday, June 2.
As parents, one of our greatest responsibilities is to guide our children into becoming healthy, well-adjusted adults. However, in our modern society, many of us struggle with this task, often parenting from a place of fear rather than love and confidence.
In the thought-provoking sermon highlighted in the summary, the speaker draws a contrast between two approaches to parenting: the “carpenter” mindset and the “gardener” mindset. The carpenter mindset views child-rearing as a process of shaping and molding a child into a predetermined product, with a focus on precision, control, and meeting external standards. On the other hand, the gardener mindset recognizes that children are living, growing beings who require a nurturing environment, guidance, and the freedom to flourish in their own unique ways.
The speaker suggests that many of us have unconsciously adopted the carpenter mindset, driven by fear and a desire for control. We worry about getting it “right,” about protecting our children from every potential harm, and about ensuring that they meet society’s expectations. This fear-based approach can lead us to become overprotective, smothering our children’s independence and stifling their natural curiosity and growth.
However, as the speaker reminds us, this is not the approach that God intends for us. In 2 Timothy 1:7, Paul writes, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” As followers of Christ, we are called to parent from a place of love, power, and wisdom, trusting in God’s guidance and provision.
One of the most poignant examples in the sermon is the ancient Roman practice of “raising” a child. If the father chose to accept the newborn, he would literally lift the baby up, symbolizing their welcome into the family. If he rejected the child, the baby would be left to die. This powerful imagery reminds us that welcoming a child into our lives is a sacred commitment, not just a biological event.
So, how can we break free from the cycles of fear-based parenting and embrace a spirit of power, love, and sound judgment? Here is one primary action step to consider:
Action Step: Intentionally Cultivate a Community of Support
Parenting was never meant to be a solitary endeavor. Throughout history, children were raised within the context of a tribe or community, with multiple caregivers and mentors supporting their development. In our modern, isolated society, we have lost this collective approach, leaving many parents feeling overwhelmed and alone.
To counter this, we must intentionally cultivate a community of support – a “tribe” of fellow believers who can walk alongside us, offering wisdom, encouragement, and accountability. This community can take many forms: a small group, a mentoring relationship, or even a network of trusted friends and family members who share our values and commitment to raising children in the ways of the Lord.
Within this community, we can find the strength and guidance we need to parent from a place of love and confidence. We can share our struggles and fears without judgment, seeking godly counsel and wisdom from those who have walked the path before us. We can also provide support and mentorship to younger parents, passing on the lessons we’ve learned and helping to break the cycles of fear and dysfunction.
Moreover, this community can serve as a powerful example for our children, demonstrating what it means to live in authentic Christian fellowship. As our children observe the love, support, and accountability within our “tribe,” they will learn invaluable lessons about relationships, community, and what it means to follow Christ.
Of course, cultivating such a community requires intentionality and vulnerability on our part. We must be willing to open our lives to others, to share our struggles and fears, and to humbly seek and accept guidance. It also requires a commitment to investing in the lives of others, offering our own wisdom and support when needed.
But the rewards of this effort are immeasurable. When we parent within the context of a loving, supportive community, we can break free from the chains of fear and insecurity that so often bind us. We can embrace the spirit of power, love, and sound judgment that God has given us, confident in His provision and guidance.
So, let us commit to intentionally cultivating communities of support – tribes of believers who can walk alongside us on this incredible journey of parenting. Together, we can raise a generation of children who know the love of Christ, who are anchored in their identity as beloved sons and daughters of the King, and who have the courage to impact the world for His glory.